Cureeny Green
by whiterobes17
Summary: Piers had always had his own personal "little green monster" issues, except this time, it spirals way out of control. Total crack, and one deluded take on how certain characters view certain ships with Chris. Because I'm sure Chris x Finn exists somewhere...
1. Chapter 1

**Complete and utter crack. This obviously isn't how I really see Piers, but I thought it'd be funny, y'know? What if, man!? Anyways, enjoy!**

* * *

It all started with Chris back in Edonia when Piers really thought about it. He couldn't pinpoint when exactly, but he knew it had been on _that_ mission.

Piers would have loved to say he felt just as badly as Chris did, but truth be told, he didn't carry the same responsibility as Chris. He'd never admit to his own personal failings on that mission, the most crucial one being to keep watch of Ada Wong. Finn's job had been to _protect_ her. There was indeed a difference.

But Piers had a problem. He would never tell anyone and it may have been a problem that preceded his enlistment with the BSAA. He even managed to divert any attention being drawn to it in the psychiatric evaluation during the enlistment process.

_"You're the rookie, huh?"_

_"Yes, sir. Finn Macauley, sir."_

It hadn't exactly begun with Finn, and probably had to do with his admiration for Chris at the time.

_"I know you're nervous, Finn, but the team's got your back. Okay?"_

_"Yes, sir! I'll give this everything I've got!"_

And Piers honestly didn't blame the rookie who garnered some of the captain's affection. It's just that when Chris gave a reassuring pat to Finn's shoulder, something twinged inside of Piers.

Despite having these exact same problems in the past, it was only then that he realized he was jealous.

He had always been the expert marksman and Chris' right hand man in their squad, not that Finn had excelled in firearms usage anyway. He had felt like a co-captain to the team.

But Finn had later proved himself extremely useful to their mission in Edonia with his expert knowledge of pyrotechnics. As his envy grew, Piers (shamefully) found he had no choice at times than to rely on the younger man. Some routes leading to their destinations would have otherwise been impassible without Finn.

It didn't help that Finn kept proving him self time and time again, for instance on the bridge.

Piers had made quick work of the J'avo attempting to hide in the darkened corridors, so he had witnessed the exchange between the other two soldiers.

He saw as Finn pulled Chris up after the tank had fired, saw as Finn tended to their injured comrade's wounds. Chris had thanked him, of course. His sniper scope had probably lingered on his captain longer than it should have as Chris directed his men. The BSAA agent accompanying and meant to assist Piers eyed him suspiciously as Piers scoped Finn out in a seemingly menacing way, trigger finger on the ready. Piers had only frowned as Finn had joked, _"They're bringing out the big guns for us."_ Classy. That had barely been a decent pick-up li- err, quip.

Yeah, so maybe Piers had a _tiny_ thing for his captain. It was barely anything. Along with his admiration for Chris' reputation and skill, he had noted that the man was, for all intents and purposes, a good looking guy. A minute detail. Piers didn't even really swing that way. Probably just a passing crush.

Needless to say, Piers had begun to snipe his ass off. Any J'avo that even _looked_ at Chris ceased to have a head in the next moment. Chris had thrown a compliment or two over their frequency, but it wasn't as if Piers was trying to prove anything to anyone. That would just be immature.

It would have been immature to relegate anyone to a lesser standing just because you were in a bad mood, and yet-

_"To fight bioterrorism, sir."_

_"I know what we're here for, rookie."_

Granted, it may not have been the best time to remind the seasoned BSAA operative of that fact. Their presence during the civil war was telling enough.

Piers still felt bad about it later, especially after their team was mutated into Napads. But in a darker part of him, he felt gratification by the fact that the competition for his captain's attention was somewhat thinned.

In China, when Chris regained some of his memories of Finn and the others, Piers noted the radical change in attitude almost immediately. He then questioned his darker feelings, which he had no problem confronting six months after the fact.

Everyone on the team was pushed to the limit when the snake-like BOW had attacked. What Chris might've considered to be a "Good job" was demoted to "I _guess_ that was good."

Piers understood, though. It was almost a repeat of what had happened in Edonia. Only this was a different and changed man leading the team, and the BOW as compared to Ada was more insidious in its efforts.

The harder Piers fought, the more Chris took.

_"Try to be quicker!"_

The young sniper would be lying if he said there wasn't a certain amount of thrill he got out of all of it. He wasn't sure when his admiration and crush had turned into full blown lust and attraction for his commanding officer, but at that point, he didn't care.

The feeling of delight Piers got of a challenge Chris presented every time Piers fulfilled a task with perfection. Every irritated bark of an order, every begrudging huff of approval.

Despite the team's unfortunate demise (again), Piers began to see it as a game of survival. In the end, he would win, he had already done it before. He would do it again.

This mission had revealed his manipulative tendencies to only himself, and Piers saw no problem with it. He knew Chris' failings and frustrations were leading up to something, and he wanted to see just what it would be.

After Marco's death, Piers had seen Chris at his angriest and at his weakest. Chris never learned, it seemed. Or maybe he had just been conditioned to be easily intimidated or bated. Piers knew what buttons to press to get the rise he wanted out of Chris. He knew it would only hurt more for Chris because it was all just the truth, and it was a jolt of grief to his captain's system.

And Piers would be damned if that Ada bitch siphoned off all of that frustration Chris had for herself. She hadn't earned anything, that much was for certain.

"Shut up," Chris muttered.

"Do you even care about our mission anymore?"

"SHUT UP!"

"I feel sorry for all the men who died believing in you!" _Because they never got to see the fruition of my devious, slightly libido fueled plans._

And sure enough, Chris thrust Piers up against the wall, an angry snarl on his face. But Piers didn't relent. He pushed right back.

"What happened to the legendary Chris Redfield, huh?! What happened to you?"

And then, just when Piers knew Chris would think the worst of the beating to his pride was over, he added with smug satisfaction and an unmatched facade, "It's a good thing Finn's not around to see you this way."

_Right below the belt._

It earned him a look of anguish and a hard shove. It was a start.

"I'm going after Ada Wong."

There was that tramp's name again. He had survived past everyone else to stand by his captain's side, if only for purely selfish purposes. And here she was, stealing all that hate and misplaced energy. There was so much potential, and he couldn't see it go to waste. Not after all his work.

"HQ, this is Alpha Leader. I need a location on Ada Wong…"

"I'm going with you." Piers practically interrupted. "Someone's gotta keep an eye on you whether you want them to or not."

It wasn't a lie, but then it was a lie. At least for the reasons Chris might have perceived.

Chris had nothing left to say. He walked towards the exit of the condemned building.

Piers swore to himself that by the end of the night, he would be in his captain's pants. For the time being, he quelled the uncomfortable erection in his fatigues and with an unseen smirk, followed Chris out.


	2. Chapter 2

**This is not what I wanted to update with, but I still wanted to update it because of some lovely reviews I got, which I very much appreciate!  
Just so you know, I'd much rather update Best of Wishes because I really want to continue that story. I'm having some difficulty with it, though (PLOTTTT). In the meantime, I hope this makes you laugh (or squee and curl up in little ball of 'I can't believe this is happening!1) even more than the last chapter! Enjoy!**

* * *

It was the longest damn elevator ride.

Something more than just the mission had to be discussed or Piers would lose it. He and his captain were hot, uncomfortable and slightly run down, and the last thing he wanted to talk about was that smarmy looking Jake guy. Besides, Chris was looking particularly irresistible with a slick sheen of sweat on his neck and muscled arms. Muscled arms that clenched and unclenched with tension.

What Piers had been expecting from the tired look he had seen in his captain's eyes ever since the mission began finally came.

"It's been three years since I killed Wesker."

Piers turned to Chris' back.

"I can't let this war follow me forever. After we rescue Jake, I'm turning in my gun."

"What!? Wait a minute-" Piers feigned surprise. Truth be told, he was disappointed that he wouldn't get another few years to diddle and toy with Chris. It had been entertaining on their mission to stop Ada's plan.

"It's about time someone took my place. And I'd be honored if it was you."

"I…I don't think I'm ready for that." Piers looked to the side. This was it. To Piers, this was his victory after all his hardship in his own self constructed game of survival. And the prize was Chris.

"You've made it this far, haven't you?"

Piers looked at Chris' and struggled to keep his face anything but incredulous. It was almost laughable; like his captain knew of his deluded game. It was time to take his prize and give his captain a parting gift from the BSAA he would never forget.

"Captain," Piers murmured and took a step closer, now very in his superior's personal space. He eyed the bulkier man's mouth before flicking his eyes back to his captain's.

"Piers…?" Chris all but breathed out, unconsciously taking a step back. Piers gave an uncharacteristic smirk, clearly appreciating what he was doing to his captain. He continued forward until his captain's back was against the glass and his skin was the color of the dark blue-green waters outside. He could only assume the expression he wore was that of unabashed lust.

Piers didn't wait a moment longer as he thrust himself on Chris, engulfing the larger man's mouth with his own. This is what it all boiled down to for the younger man. This is what Piers desired the day he realized he didn't want Chris to notice anyone else but him.

Chris gave a muffled and unexpected groan, probably one resulting from months, maybe even years of sexual inactivity. All the more reason for Piers to enjoy this.

But honestly, Piers thought, how could he _not_ be sexually active? The man was practically an adonis. Chris was the man Piers noticed first. His strength and charisma was what Piers had admired, and his fall into the lowly state in that bar in Edonia is what made Piers realize Chris' imperfection.

Piers thirsted for all of it.

He prodded his tongue into the older man's mouth and savored the heat and trembling of Chris' body. It might have been the descending elevator making him lightheaded, but it was most likely the fact that he was literally _on_ his captain, full body flush against the other. And god if it wasn't amazing to feel all that hard battle-trained muscle against his more lithely frame.

Still pressed against the glass of the elevator, a few seconds passed before Chris made a grunt of awareness and pushed Piers off with a bewildered, "What the hell…?!"

"Oh c'mon, captain," Piers insisted with a devilish smile. "Don't think I didn't see you checking me out when I was crawling in front of you through those building shafts."

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about." A small blush crept up on Chris' face. "There was nowhere else to look."

"I don't think so," he insisted. "You see something you like captain?" Piers advanced again, and even bolder yet, groped Chris' crotch. Chris gasped at the new contact. "Come on, Chris," he whispered lewdly in his captain's ear, "How long has it been for you? I could have my lips around it in seconds…"

"Shit, Piers…when the hell-?!" Chris froze when he felt a flick of Piers' tongue on his ear.

"Did I get like this? I've always been like this, _Chris._" He continued with his tongue down the other's stubbled jaw and further down his neck, tasting the salty sweat that lingered.

"Chris…" Piers chanted his name like a prayer on his lips. It might as well have been with the way Chris' (now deceased) teams worshipped him. But now it was Piers' turn to worship Chris in his own way. He'd have all the fun with this he could, and there wasn't a thing anyone could do to stop him.

"You know…" Piers began thoughtfully, suckling at Chris' adam's apple, "Finn wanted to fuck you too. It was pretty damn obvious with the way he followed you around all the time like a lovesick puppy." Piers knew he was become a hypocrite, but what-the-fuck ever. "But then that's so you; never noticing anything around you. Just look at the other founder of the BSAA. I bet you never did anything with her either, did you?"

Something inside Chris snapped as he threw Piers off of him and onto the floor of the elevator. He climbed on top, boot on one side of Piers, knee on the other, snarling.

"Don't you talk about them. Don't you dare, you son of a bitch," Chris growled lowly, grappling Piers' scarf in both hands. He leaned his face close and began almost deathly silent, "I don't know what the hell happened to you all of a sudden, but I need the Piers from five minutes ago to get through this mission. You got that?" With that, Chris shoved Piers' shoulders to the ground.

As he did, Piers gave a whiny moan that he knew would halt his captain. "Man, captain, you're kinda rough there. Care to do that again?" He said with a nonchalant look. He lifted his leg and began to massage Chris' groin with his knee.

"Piers…" Chris started, teeth bared, "Stop that, dammit…!"

Piers felt the man hardening beneath his fatigues as his grip on Piers' scarf loosened. Piers took the chance to nimbly flip his captain over so that he straddled his torso.

"Stop what, captain? Stop _this?"_ Piers hissed as he ground his ass onto what could only be his captain's painfully erect member straining beneath his outerwear.

Much to Piers' pleasure, Chris' hips involuntarily bucked up into the movement; his features contorted into that of absolute bliss for a second before he regained his composure. His hands hovered just above Piers' hips as if he was debating whether to pull the younger man down again.

He didn't need to, because Piers ground back down onto him. He nuzzled into the crook of Chris' neck. "Yeah, I didn't think so," he said with a victorious bite to the warm and salty skin as he continued to work his hips. "After all, you obviously like it."

Other than the erratic rise and fall of his chest, Chris didn't move at all. Piers gazed up from his happy place to see Chris' eyes staring just past him.

Chris uttered a breathy, "Get off me," before shoving him off to the side anyway and grabbing his forgotten assault rifle.

Piers growled in frustration to see just what was so important that had to ruin his fun. He had been so focused on enjoying making his captain squirm, he hadn't noticed that the elevator had reached the bottom. A pair of green orbs hovered by the darkened entrance of the elevator.

"God_dammit!"_ Piers yelled. It was always _something_.

As Chris was about to open fire, he saw blood splatter from it as the single most unlucky J'avo in the world was propelled into the wall. All that could be heard was the pained cry from beneath its helmet as it fell to the floor and began to disintegrate into firecracker-like sparks. He looked over to see Piers reloaded his anti material rifle.

"This isn't over, _Redfield_," he intoned with a steely glare and a slap to his captain's rear. Chris could only give him a distasteful, yet contemplative look as he led the way to the control room in a brooding silence.

Good god, what was he in for?

* * *

**On a note that some may not like, this story might end here. Not sure yet. So...two shot? I guess...? For now? Bagh.**


End file.
